Thanksgiving

I had promised myself that the next post I made on here would be a 'backtrack' about my number two's arrival into this world and the last busy and blissful -almost 8- months of mommyhood.

However, we made it to American thanksgiving without writing it and in the mean time my mind has been reflecting on some other things- or rather someone. I've been reluctant to write a post about my Aunty Bren, mostly because all of the things I have felt have already been said by others and I don't want to sound repetitive or diminish anything that has already been said-but she means a lot to me too and of all the things I am grateful for this season, she is at the top of my list!

Kyle and I planned on having a Thanksgiving at home this year, creating traditions with our own little family. The recipes were pulled out and the groceries were bought. We made a 'Thankful Tree' out of construction paper and taped it on the wall-each day we put on little orange, red and yellow leaves with things we were grateful for and pretty little scribbles from our budding 2 year old artist! Kyle left for a week to Washington, DC on an internship trip for school and when he returned we went to the local Marriott Hotel (We won a free night! YAY!) to celebrate my birthday, our anniversary and most importantly a restful night without the kids! 

Early in the night we got word from my mom that my aunt in intensive care wasn't doing well and the night continued to progress with lots of text messages about her status. In the early hours of the morning we were told that she had passed away. 

I felt like this was a personal blow-mostly because I had a very special connection with my Aunty Bren. 

She wrote me hand written cards for every birthday since I can remember, she sent packages with heartfelt goodies that she either hand made or thought of me when she saw them at a store. Her hand made hair bows would blow any of the ones we see nowadays, out of the water-and I was always a grateful recipient of them. She helped my mom sew my baby's blessing dress when she was born. She sent a box of decorations for EVERY SEASON when Kyle and I first got married so that we would have something to decorate with on such a tight student budget-infact most of the decorations we currently own and still use are from her. I could count on her letters almost weekly, when I served my mission in Texas- she would send quotes she cut out of the ensign, pictures of her and my gran, and sometimes there would be a couple dollars that she had saved from donating cans she had collected. Every year when we lived in Singapore, we would visit her and she always had little crafts we could do together, or she would teach me how to sew something-or she'd sew something for me. She would take me shopping with her and sometimes even to a dollar movie with her grandkids-where she would pack little treat bags for all of us (it was okay to do that back then)-with popcorn and other little goodies. When I would sleep at her house she would always have things we could do together before bed and would have made a special plate of cookies or something like that. She always went out of her way to make our stay comfortable and going to her house was always a highlight of our vacation.

I could really go on forever but this would be the longest post in blogging history! After she passed away, Facebook and email was flooded with notes from friends and family who all had a special relationship with her. That was when I realized that she had a special relationship with EVERYONE because she made EVERYONE feel special. 

My last conversation with her was just a few weeks ago when I called to tell her I had received her card and I'm sorry I hadn't sent one back to her yet because we had been super busy. She told me it was okay and that she didn't expect one back since I had two little ones. Let me clarify here, she was fighting cancer and the card she had sent to me was a 'thank you' for the card I had sent her. Even when she was feeling horrible, she took the time to send me a thank you card! 

I just really loved her. She didn't just raise her own three kids, she really taught so many others and has really left a hole here.

I'm so sorry to her kids, I only feel a portion of the emptiness that you must feel, but I know we'll see her again and with that understanding there is comfort. I'm sorry this is so jumbled-I feel like when I want to say things that matter the most to me-all eloquence is thrown out of the window and I fumble over my words. 

This Thanksgiving I'm grateful for the example of an amazing woman who has done so much for her family, community and everyone she comes in contact with. I'm grateful for a husband that 100% supports me and bent over backwards to make sure we could get to California. I'm grateful we were able to see my family that we don't get to see nearly enough and I'm grateful for faith and the knowledge that this is not the end and we can be with all the people we love again someday.